Potty training is a bit of a four letter word to the parents of toddlers. It can be an elephant in the room, depending on the age of the child. It's one of the many, many things that people get judgmental about. It can also be the source of a lot of frustration, and a lot of headaches. Well meaning relatives and friends will offer "tips" and "advice," thinking that it will be encouraging - when in truth it's just another slap in the face that your child isn't "up to par" when it comes to their standards. Even our pediatrician was less than kind about the fact that we showed up to a 3 year well check in a diaper.
Like every other development, potty training is something that kids will do at their own pace. Some can be fully trained at 18 months old. Others don't train until 4 years old. It seems to be a universal sign of failure, though, if a child isn't at least starting to potty train right around when they turn 3. You can explain that it's difficult because of a speech delay, but a lot of people just don't seem to get that if a kid doesn't even say the word "Yes" yet, that odds are high potty training is not going to be something they will be doing anytime soon. While they might comprehend what you're asking them, not being able to answer means that the communication just isn't there - and communication is a key element when it comes to getting a child to pee on the pot. This makes the fact that children who are speech delayed potty train later than their "normal" peers make sense.
The sad fact is, those two long winded paragraphs will still read as excuses to the sanctimommies out there whose perfect kids had potty training down in a few days before they turned 3. There are also the people who say they understand to your face, but behind your back they talk to others about how "I will never let my kid not train before 3." It is, however, the reason why we are just now starting with potty training Lyric. We're not starting because the pediatrician told us to, or because someone younger than her is trained, or because I just decided it was time and she would just have to suck it up. We're starting because she decided it was time, which is an impressive testament to the progress that she has made over the past month or so.
The first time we tried potty training with Lyric, it was Thanksgiving of 2012. She was 2.5 years old. We put her in underwear, brought out the potty, explained what she needed to do, and waited. She peed on the living room carpet. And the couch. And the chair. And that is when I decided she really wasn't ready to get started. We tried again for a short time around Christmas, and got much the same in terms of results, so the idea of potty training her was put out of our minds for a long time. Memorial Day weekend I decided to try again, because I had the extra day off to work with her. I took out the potty, she took one look at it, and promptly said "No potty." and kicked it across the room. I didn't even try underwear that weekend. I just put the potty away and continued to wait. A lot of parents would probably judge the "caving" to her doing that, but it needs to be understood that sensory processing issues (even ones that are minor, like Lyric's) generally always come with a child who has an absolute iron will. Laying down the law, in this case, would have gotten us nowhere. I had vague thoughts of trying again over the Independence Day weekend, because I took a day off so that I would have 4 days to my weekend.
July 4th rolled around, and I did nothing. July 5th was the same story - mostly because I had totally forgotten that I was going to try to potty train over the long weekend, and had instead become absorbed in cleaning the house up. So you can imagine my surprise when, on July 6th, Lyric joined me in the bathroom. Now, a toddler barging in to the bathroom while a parent is using it is no cause for alarm or surprise, really. It's just a normal, daily occurrence. On this day, however, I decided "Why not?" and asked Lyric if she wanted to potty, too. I about fell off the pot when she said she did. So I got out her potty, cleaned it off, and had her sit down. If I thought I was surprised before, nothing prepared me for the fact that when she stood up there was actually something there. And not just a few drops, either. She asked for paper to wipe, which I had to teach her how to do. Then she tossed it in the toilet, flushed it, washed her hands, and went on her way. After I came to from the shock, I got out some "big girl" underwear and gave it a shot.
I would be lying if I said there were no accidents and she just got it. We kept our spray mop armed at the ready with bleach water to mop up the puddles. There weren't many puddles though, because it didn't take her long to realize that if she started to pee, she needed to run to the potty or ask us to use it. I would also be lying if I said there weren't any times where she said she needed to potty, sat down, and nothing came out. I'm pretty sure it's because she gets Sour Patch Kids when she actually does go, so she's hoping that she'll get a few for trying, too (she doesn't).
In just a few short days we have gone from 100% diapers, to diapers only overnight and when she takes a nap. It's both quick and slow progress. I know it's something we're going to have to work on for a few weeks, because while she gets concepts down very quickly - introducing new ones, like recognizing the need to get up in the middle of the night to go potty take longer for her. If she's still in diapers overnight a month from now, oh well. That doesn't negate the fact that we're still moving forward, and that slowly but surely she is catching up to her peers.
