Busy Bee Help - FINALLY

Tiffany came over today to make up for the snow day that was yesterday.  Apparently it's count month, and in order to get funding they had to see Lyric a certain number of times.  I e-mailed her yesterday to talk about getting more occupational therapy for Lyric's sensory issues.  It doesn't matter to me if they end up being minor, or even nothing - I would rather get the therapy and find out it was for nothing, than ignore issues that could become worse or permanent if they aren't addressed at all.  She asked me what the main concerns were as far as sensory issues go, and I had to attempt to keep it condensed.  Not always an easy task for me.

Her appointment today was at 3pm - which was different for us.  Usually they either come in the morning or around noon, because afternoons can be a difficult time to reach Lyric.  She tends to be a lot more wound up, and less receptive.  This ended up being a good thing, because Tiffany got to see Lyric being Lyric.  She offered a LOT of pointers and tips for things that will assist Lyric with her sensory processing, both at home and in public.  Starting today, we will be doing the following:

• Have Lyric wear a small backpack weighted with dry beans when we are in stores.
• Give her something that is semi large/heavy that will occupy her to carry around (we will be letting her walk in stores rather than putting her in the cart to avoid those fits).
• Use a weighted blanket at bed time (UPDATE on this one:  We used the one in the picture last night, which is quite heavy and she hadn't even rolled over by the time I left for work this morning.  Not a peep out of her all night, and we got our bed back!)
• If she is being particularly wound up, we can put her in a pillow sandwich - I've already tried this, and it's like a baby off switch.
• Make a "crash spot" for when she is running around that will help her have a soft landing.
• If she is willing to go in the cart basket, put things on her to help weight her.
• If she's headbutting us (which she does a lot) - squeeze her head.  

We will also be keeping a log of what she eats - Tiffany will be e-mailing that to us.  I'm excited to try all of this to see what happens when we do.  Hoping maybe we'll be able to orient her in a way that will help her learn and adapt.

In other exciting news, we've upgraded to a big girl bed.  Hopefully the transition stays smooth!

Parent Fail

Disclaimer:  This entry is me venting.  I am not intentionally trying to call anyone out, or make anyone feel bad.  I am just expressing my general frustration.  Take it with a grain of salt.  I'm sharing this because I want people to understand that it's not all sunshine and roses - and if they feel that way too, they can know they're not alone.

I try to keep everything I write positive and hopeful because we have seen improvements, and she is learning new words and phrases fairly regularly.  But it doesn't stop negativity from creeping in.  You wonder what you could have done differently while you were pregnant.  What you could have changed when they were growing from newborn to infant to toddler hood.  What ifs play out in your brain, and you ask yourself - for the 100th time - if you are the reason your child is delayed.  For Travis, who has his own mental illness to consider, I know this particular question is a heavy weight.  It's one of many reasons we made the choice to do early intervention, in spite of people insisting that kids develop at different rates, and we shouldn't worry as much until she is 3.

It doesn't take much to get the gears spinning, or for the anxiety to set in.  It could be something as simple as reading someone's Facebook status update, or having a conversation with a friend or a coworker.  So and so posts a conversation that they have with their child - who is Lyric's age - and it can be like a punch in the gut.  Why can't my kid do that?  Oh, that kid loves his/her siblings and says it?  Lovely - my kid doesn't even say she loves US.  All the kids that were in the "mommy group" of similar birth dates are potty trained?  You hoped she would be potty training at Christmas?  Well shucks, so did we.  But she can't even say the word "yes," doesn't respond to direction, and while she does give us hope that she gets the concept - I don't foresee it being something that will be in our future anytime soon.

This kid understands the concept of choices.  That kid knows their ABCs.  This kid can follow basic directions.  That kid can actually express when they're in pain.  This kid eats a variety of foods, and enjoys dinner with their family each night.  That kid doesn't stick everything in their mouth - still.

You start to wonder if she is ever going to talk and pronounce things right.  Water is "ahtoe," balloon is "ohwoon," pancake is "gangay."  Will we ever hold a conversation?  Parents of "normal" kids have it easy when thinking about their child in school.  I think of pre-school and get feelings of dread.  She's not potty trained, which most require.  She can barely speak.  She won't sit still to do anything for more than 5 minutes unless you hand her food - and even then, it's up for debate.  And if she doesn't get her way, the meltdowns are epic.  Drawn out screaming and protesting.  We can't take her in a Target anymore because she throws a shit fit.  You wonder if it is because she is 2 or because of the sensory problems or some other underlying thing.  How would she even be able to handle pre-school?  Other activities that she has been in were quickly dropped out of, because we didn't want to be "those" parents whose kid disrupted the whole class.   I could go on, and on, and on.

And then I feel like SHIT for thinking all of this - for being frustrated, for being able to list so many issues - because she's my baby.  And I love her.  And I wonder what would happen if she is googling herself someday and finds this blog, sees what I have to say.  Will she hate me?  Or will she understand how utterly frustrated and powerless I felt against everything going on?  I am a crappy person for being frustrated with not having a "normal" kid.  At the end of the day I always wonder if we've done enough that day to help her catch up.  At the end of the day, both of us are so exhausted from dealing with her, and everything else going on that we just sit at our computers and stare into the middle distance.  Forget cleaning - the house is always a mess.  Forget working out or trying to lose weight - I'd rather have a bamboo manicure.  We always wanted to have more than one child, but she has us rethinking that on a fairly regular basis.

Then you have to go to bed, and wake up to lather, rinse, and repeat.  "You're doing so great!" people say all the time - if we're doing so great, why are we still dealing with Early Intervention?  If everything is so fine, why is discipline a foreign language because she responds to pretty much nothing?  Why isn't she caught up if we're such wonderful parents?  And then there are the people who say "Maybe if you paid attention to her and talked to her more, she wouldn't be this way."  or the ever optimistic, but insensitive "Before you know it, you'll be wishing she'd STOP talking!"  You try not to let it get to you, but it does.

It makes the last 3 years seem like one giant ass parenting fail.  And all it takes is reading someone post a cute little conversation.  Pathetic, right?

We had to cancel Tiffany on Friday because of vomit.  Melissa is coming over tomorrow.  Until then, I will be stuffing my face with cheesecake and silently attending my Pity Party of 1.

Activities Galore!

I'm not going to post any weeks or descriptions for these - just going to share some pictures of things we've been up to!

More painting!

Slime! (It took her a while to warm up to this one)

Clay play

Magic Towel

The play tent I made

I also did a painting that incorporates Lyric's art and mine

We're hearing a lot of imitation and new words lately - like choo choo and cookie.  And she counts from 1 - 10 now!  She misses a digit here and there, but she seems to "get" the concept of counting in it's simplest form.  She also really tries to sing along with songs on TV, which is hilarious and adorable.  Tiffany comes over on Friday for our next session.

Things That I Recommend

We've been in speech therapy for 8 months now, which is kind of crazy to me.  Not because I feel it's something negative - but because it makes me wonder where on earth the time went.  At any rate, I wanted to share a few of the things that have really helped with Lyric's speech and that help with sensory needs.  We're constantly finding new shows, toys, and tools - and if I can help someone with finding them, I've done a good thing.

1)  Hide and Seek First Words - One of the major things that they test on for speech evaluations is whether or not kids can identify words from pictures.  This book has actual photos, which makes it a bit nicer because kids can learn to associate words with real world objects.  I've not gotten this one out recently, but the times we have looked through it, Lyric has LOVED finding the items in the pictures, and it makes it easy to repeat words for them to learn.

2)  Melissa and Doug See and Spell puzzles - These things serve about a million development needs.  Fine motor with the puzzle, spelling, words - they're so handy to have around.  The letter pieces can be used to teach the alphabet without the puzzles, and being able to put the letters in the puzzle one at a time helps with sounding words out.  Lyric really likes these, and I actually have quite a bit of fun with them, too. (PS -  They're a great Montessori style tool, too!)

3)  Baby Babble (1 is pictured - there is also a 2, and a 3) - I cannot sing enough praises for Baby Babble.  Before we got Lyric evaluated, but when we suspected she was delayed, I was looking around for things we could use to help with teaching.  I stumbled across Baby Babble, and it was the best thing I could have found at the time.  The DVDs were developed by 2 pediatric speech and language pathologists.  They teach you how to use speech therapy tactics to encourage speech in the home.  They show you simple sign language, and they recommend toys that will help, and they have a tutorial at the end of the program for the kids that helps parents use the principles.  They're very quiet, relaxing, and Lyric was repeating after them and mimicking signs from the very first time that she saw them.  We're talking 45 minutes solid of repeating sounds, words, and signing.  It's always exciting to see the improvements with each time we watch it.

4)  Pocoyo - Brightly colored, computer animated, and SO much less annoying than American kids cartoons that are similar.  I hate, hate, HATE Dora the Explorer.  It's just plain irritating and too dumbed down for us. Pocoyo is an import from Spain - the English version is narrated by Stephen Fry, which just gives it extra cool points.  Lyric LOVES it, and repeats so many of the words and names on it.  The dialog of the actual characters is very limited, so it makes it easy for us to flesh it out with simple phrases, too.  Her birthday this year is actually going to be Pocoyo themed, because even I enjoy watching it.

5)  Anyone who has talked to me recently knows that I have developed a love affair with Dollar Tree.  So much so that my husband gave me a Dollar Tree gift card for Valentine's Day.  It is very, very easy for me to get carried away there, because everything is actually just a dollar.  They have so much stuff that I use for crafts, learning, and decorating.  If I need something for a project that involves Lyric, the first place I check is Dollar Tree.  You really can't go wrong with it.

6)  Hopla - Hopla is actually the show that our speech therapist is incorporating into our learning routine.  We found it, but it happened to be playing when she came over for a session.  There is no dialog on Hopla at all, other than a child occasionally saying "Hopla" at the end of a cartoon.  This makes it an awesome tool for teaching speech because the parent can do all the talking - so it's a familiar voice, and can be tailored to how the child learns.  She's seriously picked up 4 or 5 words from it just in the past 2 days.

7)  Step 2 Water Table (or any water table) - This thing is tops for sensory play.  Anything to do with water is right up her alley, and this keeps her entertained for hours. No joke. It might not work as well for older children because there really isn't much to it as far as bells and whistles go, but for summer play this is our #1 toy.

8)  Rody the Horse (Or Benny the Bull, or any other variety) - Lyric actually has a Benny the Bull, and it is a true "wear this kid out" toy.  We first encountered it when the Occupational Therapist did the first sensory panel on her.  She spent the entire 45 minute session bouncing on this horse.  She regularly pulls Benny around the house and bounces on him. It's EXCELLENT for sensory seeking play, and I think that's why she loves it so much.  I cannot recommend it enough if you have a young, sensory seeking child.

On Education and Animation

My birthday was this past Sunday, and one of my gifts was a $50 gift card for Amazon.com.  This ended up being an awesome gift because money tends to be tight, so we have to limit purchases of things that aren’t necessities.  There are a lot of books that I have had my eye on, and I was finally able to purchase some of them.  Reading time for me is scarce, and the pile of books that I need to get through is rapidly growing.  As a little bit of “back story” - It’s kind of a joke with Travis and some of my family that I spend more money on Lyric than I do on myself.  I got a gift card for Christmas that could be spent anywhere, and I had to have Travis hang on to it because the card that came with it specifically stated that I needed to spend it on myself.  I think I did end up buying a few things for Lyric with it, but shhh! 

It’s probably a cliché thing to say, but if it makes Lyric happy – then it makes me happy.  I never see it as sacrificing anything, because investing in Lyric is investing in me, too.  I have enough books, movies, and clothes for myself already.  If I can buy something that will make the time we spend together more fun and memorable, then that’s what I am going to use my money for.  Maybe it’s a bad philosophy to have to put her before myself, but it works for me for the time being, so I’m going to continue to do it.

That being said, four of the books that I purchased are books that will be useful for me to educate Lyric and to become more educated ABOUT Lyric.  Two of the books are on Montessori learning, so that I can get more activity ideas and learn how to execute them better at home with Lyric.  Pinterest just can't match up with written out explanations in books.  For example, I have already learned that activities should be presented on a tray to define the work space when offering Montessori activities.  I had noted that most activities I pinned were on trays, but I figured that was just to reduce mess, or make it easier to present to the Blog audience.  I didn't know it was actually a Montessori concept, because none of the bloggers explained that.  I think they just assume that everyone who reads knows the basics of Montessori, but that's not necessarily the case.

The other two books are The Out of Sync Child, and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun.  They're both books on sensory integration issues. I'm a little bummed out because I got the wrong copy of the first one, so I have to send it back and wait for a refund to order the proper edition of it.  I did already have an "a-ha" moment while thumbing through it, so I might just start reading the second one to satiate my need for information.  I'm trying not to get overzealous about it though, because Sensory Processing issues do not define Lyric.  They're a part of her, but there's so much more to her than just this.  It's a difficult balance to strike, because it's important (I think) to understand the issues but it's also difficult to not be consumed by them.  She's growing every day, and I don't ever want her to think that she is limited in what she can do because she has a different way of understanding and processing what she sees and does.  Being overzealous about it, or making it an excuse for things, would likely influence her in that direction.  That's just my personal opinion on it though, so please don't flame me!

Moving right along, we had a speech therapy session today.  Our new principle to focus on for Project Impact is Animation - being over the top and goofy about what we say, because that will get Lyric more excited about saying it and participating.  We've figured out that she's not always that responsive to imitation, but being animated makes a difference.  Melissa actually wants us to incorporate a DVD that we got of a show called Hopla, because there is no dialog on it - so it's an ideal way for us to suggest words and be animated about them.  It's one of those shows that is like baby crack - she's totally engrossed and engaged for the full 60 minutes of the DVD, so that's 60 minutes that we can be using for teaching, too.

The other focus is something that is a learning experience for me, as well as Lyric.  We're supposed to use 2 word phrases to describe things to her, because anything more might border on too complex.  I tend to just err towards talking to her too much like an adult, so it's a process to pare down how I say things to a more Lyric like level.  Perhaps I could start with shushing people, or telling them to "shut up" because she's been kicking the sass talk into high gear lately!  Next week we have a visit from Tiffany, and before that I need to catch up on activity posts, so there might be blog overkill for the next few days.  Apologies in advance for that!

 

Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery

Tiffany came over for a regular session yesterday that I am told went well.  We have moved on to the “Imitate” portion of learning.  Basically, we’re supposed to imitate any words or behavior that we want to encourage Lyric to keep doing and using because it helps show her that her actions have meaning. 

Essentially we will sit down with our project toys and if she pushes a car, we will push a car too.  If she tosses a ball, we toss a ball.  Anytime she says something – even if it’s just something on TV that she is repeating – we should also repeat it.  It’s sort of like being the annoying young sibling playing copycat, only in this case it actually has a purpose. 

On the flip side of it, if she exhibits behavior or says something that we DON’T want her to continue, then we’re to show her an alternative that we do want her to use.  Apparently Tiffany got to witness some of the Lyric sassiness that has been cropping up lately in the form of being shushed.  That would definitely fall under behaviors we do NOT want to encourage when it comes to speaking.  As to what we could offer for an alternative to that, I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure we will figure something out.

Travis says that Lyric also spent a lot of the session spinning around.  She would often get to a point where it was enough to make her fall down from being dizzy.  When that happened, she would drunkenly pull herself back up, look around with a confused face, and then keep right on spinning.  This is the sensory seeker in her at work.  Yesterday we learned that when it gets to the point where she is falling down, we should use deep pressure to reorient her.  Deep pressure is like the Lyric off switch.  If we give her a bear hug, or squeeze her arms or legs, she’s like putty.  It satisfies her sensory needs on a level that allows her to relax, refocus, and get back to a more oriented mindset.  If you have a child that is sensory seeking, I definitely recommend trying a deep pressure squeeze.  I know it may not work for everyone, but so many kids (and adults!) can be calmed and reoriented just by a nice, tight squeeze or hug. 

We’ve also been told that we should start putting a little bit of whatever we’re eating onto Lyric’s plate each evening.  Not a large amount because it will likely just get thrown away when she doesn’t eat it, but enough that she notices it.  We want her to be able to tolerate different things being on her plate, so that maybe she will start to explore foods besides the ones that are on the list of Lyric Approved Food Items™. 

Beyond that, things seem to be picking up in the speech department.  Aside from sass talking and telling us to shut up, I’ve recently taken to asking her to say “please” before I do things for her, and it’s gotten to a point where she’ll do it without prompting sometimes.  She’s also saying “diaper” more consistently, as well as “potty,” so there might be training hope in the future!  She’s imitating everything on TV, and asking for shows by name.  She’s also started asking for cheese and hotdogs by name, too.  There’s still a level of frustration when she wants other things, like bread, macaroni and cheese, or peanut butter – but we’re definitely seeing an improvement. 

Sensory wise there have been some improvements as well.  She still doesn’t like dirt much, but she’s a lot more willing to play with new textures now.  She does seem to acknowledge pain a bit more, but it could partly be an attempt to manipulate us because she knows that we will respond when she says “Ow!”  Food is still something of a challenge, but she’s eating and growing, so though we’re trying to get her to try new things, it’s not a huge concern.  Overall I’m happy and excited about how things are going so far, and I’m hoping things continue to be positive.

The Plague

We've had to cancel the last two Early On sessions because our house has been a regular petri dish of whatever brand of illness that has been floating around.  Thankfully it looks like we will be getting on track again this week.  In the mean time, I have an activity to share, as well as a new project I have undertaken (because I have so much free time, right?)

Travis had a doctors appointment on Friday, which meant that I spent the morning hanging out with Lyric.  I went to the dollar store the night before, to stock up for the other project I will discuss, and while I was there I picked up some baking soda to clean with.  Lyric seemed bored, and we had some vinegar on hand too, so I decided to do the ole baking soda volcano.  We watch a lot of Bill Nye around here, and she loves it, so I knew this would be right up her alley.

Here are the photos of the result:

Pouring in the vinegar (for a third time)

The excitement of the result

Still excited!

Do it again.

Lyric's Learning Locker Project

I've always been a fan of the Montessori approach to learning.  I went to a Montessori academy for a few years when I was a child, and the difference in the style and effectiveness of the education has always stuck with me.  I like the "hands-on, learn it myself" approach.  That being said, Pinterest (again with the evil Pinterest) has allowed me to find a ton of Montessori style projects that I can do with Lyric, since attending one of the local Montessori preschools in our area is out of the question.  

While looking for Montessori projects, I also pin activities and supply ideas that just seem like they would be fun, or useful.  As the pin board grew, and the supplies I acquired increased, I started to realize I was going to need a more organized space to keep everything together.  On a whim, I emptied out one of the linen cupboards that we have because we had enough room to change the purpose of one.  We already used it to keep things we didn't want Lyric to have 24/7 access to, so adding more stuff made sense.  So, the Lyric Learning Locker was born.  I stocked it up with dollar store art supplies, and made a snazzy sign for it - and I didn't even need Pinterest for the idea! I have also moved a lot of her educational books into it since these photos were taken, but this gives you the general idea:

Snazzy Sign

The dry erase board lists the contents so I know what supplies I have on hand

Top is mostly art supplies

Bottom is potty training and educational/sensory toys

It looks a lot fuller with the books added, but I am too lazy to take a new pic