A PSA for New and Soon to Be New Moms

This isn't related to Lyric and her progress, which I will update about once Halloween is done and I can post pictures.  It is, however, directly related to her - and it's something I feel like I need to share.

I have a lot of friends who are either thinking about, or going to become moms for the first time very soon.  It's exciting for me, because I like having mom friends to talk with, and I like to help people the way that they helped us when we were expecting Lyric.  It's also a little scary, because becoming a parent is full of uncertainty and worry that can't be described.

Some of these friends are in a stage of pregnancy where they are feeling miserable.  Either they are sick, and tired all the time – or they are at a point where everything is uncomfortable, breathing seems impossible, and they can’t wait to evict their new addition.  Some post about it on Facebook, and inevitably people chime in with the same comments:

“It will all be worth it when you see your baby for the first time.”

Or

“You’ll be so in love when you first see your baby that all of this won’t matter!”

Or

“Sleepless nights won’t matter when you have your baby to snuggle.”

Maybe it was like that for these people, but it wasn’t like that for me.  I don’t talk about it much, because at this point it’s just a minor blip on the radar that is our life with Lyric, but when she was first born I didn’t feel any of what these people say.  I didn’t feel that immediate rush of love.  I didn’t feel that overwhelming special bond.  I just didn’t feel anything.  The best way I can describe it is that inner thought of “That’s it?”  I could take it or leave it.  I loved her, yes.  But I also felt like I was broken, because I didn’t feel that immediate overpowering sense of love that is apparently what occurs when you’re a mom.  I didn’t feel any of it during pregnancy, either.  I didn’t have that feeling of wonder about the life inside of me.  It was just another part of my day. 

Looking back now, I realize that it was likely some form of Post-Partum Depression.  And it really is true that people just don’t talk about it.  Having a baby is supposed to be this awesome, happy time, right?  So moms who don’t have that feeling are left wondering if maybe they weren’t meant to be a mother in the first place, if they’re not fitting in to the cookie cutter description of what a new mom is SUPPOSED to feel. 

Obviously now it’s very different.  I have that bond, and that feeling of being willing to die for that tiny ball of sassy person that Lyric has become.  But it took a while for that to develop.  So to all of the ladies out there who are going to be a mom for the first time – don’t worry if you don’t feel like everyone is telling you you’re going to feel when your child is born.  There is nothing wrong with it.  Much like it takes time to develop feelings for a significant other, sometimes it takes time to develop that relationship with your child.  And that’s okay.  You’re not broken.  Just human.