Birthdays and Parameters

Lyric's 3rd birthday party was on June 8th.  I would like to say it was a huge success - but I'm biased.  The theme was Pocoyo, and this year we had it in our back yard instead of going to a local park.  She got so many awesome gifts, including a new pool, an 8 in 1 play structure for the yard, a personalized outfit, and a Doc McStuffins doctor kit (which she carries everywhere like I carry my purse).  There were other kids there to play with, and I think overall everyone enjoyed themselves.

On to the more exciting news.  Lyric has had a bit of a language explosion.  In the past few weeks we have noticed a huge change in her expressing herself.  If we ask her a yes or no question, she answers appropriately.  If she wants something else on TV, she tells us what she wants.  If she wants a certain food to eat, she will say it by name, or at least say "That one!" when we hold it up.  She says "Yay! I did it!" or "Yay! We did it!" when certain tasks are accomplished.  She asked me once if I was going potty when she came into the bathroom with me.  If she wants Travis to come lay in bed with her, she will ask Dada to go night-night.  The best part of it is now she also randomly runs up to us, hugs us, and says "I love you."  We're able to have more and more conversations with her, and more and more things are going from being in "Lyricese" to being understandable.  She still has a long way to go, but it looks like she may have already met one of her IEP goals already.

I e-mailed her coordinators to find out what the parameters are for considering the goal met.  They will be evaluating her once the school year starts so they have an idea of where she is at, because the vocabulary and setting are different in school than they are at home.  I'm a little worried that because the people and the school will be new that she will be shy, and not as vocal as she is at home where she is comfortable - but I know they will be watching her on a daily basis, so if that happens she should get more vocal as she gets more comfortable.  It's a small light at the end of the tunnel, and I am encouraged that maybe - just maybe - we might even be able to address potty training soon.  I have a 4 day weekend coming up in July.  I might try again then.  We will see.

 

The party set up before people started arriving

 Checking Uncle Chris' blood pressure

 Pocoyo cake!

 

 The Odd Couple out for a drive

  

 Presents!

 

  Making use of the new toys

On Gender Roles

Once in a while at my work, we have what we call "Mommy Lunch."  Ladies who had babies around the same time all get together to talk about their kids and how things are going, because it's nice to have that kind of support.  Today's lunch gave me a chance to finally feel like we're doing something right in terms of raising Lyric.  I know that most people tell us we're doing great, and they're proud, and all that - but that doesn't stop the rising guilt you can sometimes feel as a parent.  That guilt where you read about the kid who eats all organic food with fruits and veggies, while your kid snarfs down nuggets from a certain red and yellow themed drive thru.  The reality is that as a parent you're doing fine - but it doesn't always feel that way.

Today, however, was different.  Three of the women at the lunch, including myself, have little girls.  One has a little boy.  The subject of dolls and playing "mommy" came up at some point, and the other women who had girls were talking about how their daughters are so in to princesses, pink, playing with dolls, and other things that tend to be labeled as "girly."  On the other end of the spectrum, the mother with the boy talked about how everything was basketball, baseball, and golf for her.  Then there was me.

Since we found out I was pregnant, and especially since finding out we were having a girl, we made the conscious decision to not force our children into the prescribed gender role that society puts on children.  Both of us felt that it was extremely important to give our child a balanced amount of "girly" and "boyish" toys to foster a well rounded development.  This way they would feel less pressure to be a "princess" or a "man's man."  Due to this fact, Lyric has a wide variety of toys.  She has a play kitchen, she has a doll house, she has Batman toys, she has Ironman toys.  She has a basketball hoop, a t-ball set, and a little dollar store golf club and golf ball.  She has stuffed animals and baby dolls - she even has a few Chelsea (young Barbie) dolls, and a tea set.  She also has Buzz Lightyear, and Woody toys - as well as a Woody costume.  Her clothes are a variety of colors - nothing overly pink and girly.  We actually recently purchased her a Punisher (the superhero, not the wrestler or monster truck) t-shirt from the thrift store.  She's always had Spiderman, Superman, and Toy Story in her wardrobe.  We have plans to get her a toy tool bench with toy tools, as well as Brio building sets when she gets older.  She plays with Duplo, and when she gets older she will have Lego - and not necessarily the pink Lego that people think need to exist for some asinine reason.  We don't really do Disney Princess, unless it is Rapunzel or Merida - because they are stronger role models than the traditional ones.  However, we've never discouraged her from playing with or picking out any toy or clothing item either, regardless of what aisle in the store it comes from.

I think that we're different than a lot of parents in that respect.  Travis wouldn't get in a panic if we'd had a boy and he was in pink, or playing with a doll.  Similarly, I love it when Lyric plays with her superhero toys, or wants  to build instead of nurturing a doll, or playing with her doll house.  So when the topic came up, I felt a really great sense of pride when I was able to say that Lyric does both.  She mothers dolls.  She plays basketball.  She paints and colors.  She cooks in her play kitchen.  She dresses up as Woody, takes Batman for a ride in her pink doll car, and she loves anything to do with Toy Story or Phineas and Ferb (which, by the way, Travis and I both firmly believe neither of these things are just for boys - so it is incredibly frustrating that all of the clothing and toys associated with it are blatantly labeled for boys.  They're for everyone, damnit).  She likes to run around in a Superman cape, but her favorite clothing item is a dress.

To be clear, I don't judge people who don't do it like us.  Every parenting style is different, and every child is different.  I'm just proud that I can say that my daughter enjoys just being her and doing her own thing, and I really hope that it continues to be this way.  It's always been something that was important to us as parents.  If she wants to be rough and tumble and play with dirt, frogs, and boogers - that's great.  If she wants to have tea parties, and play with dolls - that's fine, too.  As long as she doesn't feel the pressure to only be the Barbie loving, tea party giving girlie girl that people expect girls to be, then I know I have done something right.

Excited to have a Tumbler for her birthday

Batman with attitude

 Want some soup?

This is where my dolls live.

Batman is FABULOUS!

Every time she puts these on, without fail, she starts growling(Green Lantern for the superhero impaired)

Mothering her Monkey-Monk-Monk in her favorite item of clothing

She LOVED this princess car that was a first birthday gift

"Buzz" and "Woody" were 2 of her first words

Spiderkid, Spiderkid...

Even when she was a baby, we had these around

Hitting the ball like a boss

IEP Again

Tuesday morning was Lyric's IEP meeting for preschool.  It was a little on the bittersweet side, because it's really not something I wanted to happen - but I left feeling excited regardless.  There were 6 other people in the room apart from me.  Her current speech therapist, her current coordinator, her current occupational therapist, her future speech therapist, her future coordinator/teacher, and her future occupational therapist.  I didn't know it was going to be so many people - it felt a bit like a council of elders.  It was nice to see so many come together for the specific purpose of talking about Lyric though. 

It went pretty much as expected.  They went over her strengths and what she enjoys doing, like putting together puzzles and playing matching games.  Then they went over what needs to be worked on, and we came up with two goals for Lyric to meet by the end of the school year next year.  The first is that she will verbally express wants, needs, and requests both spontaneously and in a structured setting 3 out of 5 times.  The second is that she will follow two step directions both spontaneously and in a structured setting 3 out of 5 times.  She will be getting individual speech therapy while at school for (I think) 30 minutes per session, a few times a week.  If it seems to us that she has met these goals before the end of the year, we will meet to create another IEP, if necessary.

Her sensory needs are going to be addressed in the classroom as part of her education, rather than pulling her out to work on that on an individual basis because she has come so far on those in the past year.  The occupational therapist will basically see her once a month for 15 minutes just to make sure that nothing has gotten worse, and that she isn't regressing.  Since she has gone from not wanting to touch dirt at all, to being able to play in it, it seems like MAYBE they will become less of a concern.  There are still a few things that could potentially be worked on, so I am glad that it's not something that will just be written off, either.

Her preschool start date is September 3rd.  There was no point in getting her started now, as they only had 12 days of school left.  We just had to put something down on paper before she turned 3, essentially.  So we're officially done with home visits, and moved on into the next portion of the program.  She turns 3 on Sunday.  I'm sure I'll spend most of the weekend wondering where my baby went.

Sick

Friday after Lyric got home from Opa's, Travis had a doctor's appointment, so I had to leave work early.  When I got home, Lyric greeted me at the door, and pulled me into the toy room, where she sat in her little chair to watch cartoons and just looked tired.  Her hand felt very warm, so I felt her forehead.  It was also quite warm.  I asked Travis if he knew where the thermometer was, but in our house it's sort of like asking if you can find that needle in the haystack yet.  Needless to say, with no thermometer there was no way to tell how high her fever was, if it was even a fever, so we decided to just keep an eye on her and wait it out.  She wasn’t eating at all, but she was drinking just fine, so dehydration wasn’t really a concern.  We napped while Travis was at his appointment, and she was basically clingy and snuggly for the rest of the day.  Later in the evening, after sharing her “altered state” with a mom friend, I decided to take her to the local pediatric urgent care, just in case she had something that needed addressing with antibiotics.  She threw up when we pulled in to the parking lot, and was pretty subdued, despite the abundance of toys and cartoons in the waiting room.  When we got back to see the doctor, her temp was 104, which explains why she was so out of it.  They checked for strep, and wanted us to try to collect her pee to rule out a UTI, otherwise they were just chalking it up to something viral.  After a dose of Motrin for her fever, we went on our way.  She got home and crashed almost immediately.

So what does this have to do with the price of eggs in China?  Well, while I was being asked questions about her overall condition at the Urgent Care, I realized I had no real way of knowing if what was being asked was something that could actually be bothering her.  They asked if she was tugging at her ears, or complaining that her stomach hurt, or saying that hear head hurt, etc.  I said “No,” but the reality of it was that even if it was something that was bothering her, she would have no way of expressing it.  She doesn’t have those words in her vocabulary that we know of.  Speech delay means that even if she would want to communicate something like that, odds are she wouldn’t be able to.

On top of the speech issue, there were also the sensory issues.  We’ve never known when Lyric has an ear infection, unless she gets some other kind of crazy illness that drives up her fever.  There has never been a time where we’ve taken her to Urgent Care, the pediatrician, or the ER that wasn’t driven by her having a fever.  She doesn’t react to the pain or discomfort of things that would bother a normal toddler.  She can knock herself in the head hard enough that it leaves a goose egg and not care in the least.  Both the delay and the sensory problems make visits to the doctor for illness somewhat difficult, but it makes it especially difficult to figure out if she is even sick to begin with.  I’m positive there have been illnesses and ear infections that we have missed, purely because she’s just not bothered by things like a “normal” toddler would be.  As another example, when we were asked to collect her pee, it was after they tried the "bag" method that they use for young kids - which involves sticking a bag with adhesives inside of the diaper to catch the pee.  She tore the bag off.  They asked me to try to get her to pee on the toilet - she wasn't having it.  I was hoping I could get her to go in her potty chair, but no dice.  So we never did get the pee.  The sensory issues are another thing that make me hesitant about potty training, because it means she couldn't care less when she's wet herself.  All of this can make things extremely frustrating, and it certainly opens up a whole new perspective on illness and going to the doctor, let alone "normal" things for her age, like potty training. 

If you're curious, this is what cracked out Lyric looked like before I took her in:

Sick baby

I was taking the video without really paying attention to the focus, so that is why it's kind of shaky/weird.  And this is what she looks like with a fever of 107 (this one is from the beginning of 2012):

Thankfully she seems to be on the mend, fever free, and eating like a champ now.  Fingers crossed she stays that way. 

Goals Again

Lyric's IEP meeting for preschool is scheduled for May 21st.  We were supposed to come up with a list of goals for preschool.  Not small goals either - big ones that are supposed to last for the entire year.  I had no idea what to say.  I asked Travis, and he said he wanted her doing long division, so I decided his opinion didn't count.  I settled on saying that refining her vocabulary and pronunciation was important, and asked for recommendations on other things.  I'm excited to finally get things squared away, but it's kind of intimidating at the same time.  Hopefully that will all clear up after the IEP meeting.

We have one more session with Melissa, and then she is finished with home visits for speech.  We were supposed to have OT with Debbie on Tuesday, but she got there when Lyric was asleep and Travis was in the bathroom.  By the time he got out and saw her, she had packed her things and was driving away.  Oh well.  It wouldn't have been a good session anyway, if Lyric had just woken up.  She's a total grouch when she wakes up most of the time. 

From Tuesday night until Thursday, Lyric was at what we now call Camp Opa.  She went to my dad's house because he was on vacation and I figured he would enjoy seeing her and spending time with her.  To say that Lyric had a blast would be an understatement. Pretty sure my dad had just as much fun, too, if not more. 

 She played with her cousins in the dirt

 

 

 She pouted.

 

 She played with more dirt

 

 She hung around

 

 

She played with sticks

 

 

 She rode the scooter

 

 She smelled the flowers

 

 She went to the park

 Did some swinging

Played on the wooden cars

She didn't want to leave them when the time came, and I'm pretty sure her cousins are her new best friends.  Will definitely have to get her play dates with them more often.  It gives me hope for her socializing in preschool, and possibly for adding a sibling in the next year or so.  We'll see. 

Moving Right Along

We've officially filled out the enrollment packet for Lyric to start preschool once she turns 3 and transitions out of in home Early On visits.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I'm incredibly grateful and excited for the opportunity for her.  Tiffany says they have a room that is dedicated for sensory play that has trikes, ball pits, and all kinds of toys for them to use to get their energy out.  The school has a great playground that she will love.  She will be with other kids her age that she can interact with.  They have circle time, free play time, stories, and all kinds of fun stuff.  It will be really good for her.  There's still that small part of me that is kind of disappointed because I was really hoping she would make enough improvements to avoid needing "special" preschool, but I know that was also a lofty goal.  We're not sure yet on what the start dates will be, but hopefully we will be hearing about it soon.

There has been an explosion of language and other activity lately that has me feeling hopeful about things.  She's been trying to sing along with songs, like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  She's counting on a regular basis (she often skips 4 and 7 for some reason, but hey - it's a start).  She says things like "3, 2, 1 - blast off!" on a regular basis when we are playing.  I think I am going to take a stab at teaching her the ABC's.  She also asked Travis to put on Pocoyo instead of Snoopy this morning, which is new.  Generally she is quite vocal about what she wants to watch, but it's usually just one word that stands for the show, not "Put this on, not that!"  She answers questions, and Melissa finally got to experience that when she came over a few days ago.  She also recently ran after one of the cats shouting "Wait! Come back! I'll pet you!"

An issue we're running in to now is pronunciation.  Lyric drops consonants (and sometimes vowels) from words that she says, and it's something that really needs to be worked on - but it's difficult to know how to work on it.  Balloon is still ah-woo, Snoopy is still oo-ee, help is still hey-o.  I'm not sure it's that she thinks she's saying what it is and doesn't realize there are letters missing or what, but it's definitely a concern.  She still speaks mostly "Lyricese" which can be a challenge to translate.  I know that she gets frustrated with us when we can't figure out what she means, so it's clear that what she's saying makes sense to her.  Just not sure what to make of it.

It's finally starting to get warmer here, so we've been able to do quite a bit of playing outside.  She likes to play in the driveway and the backyard.  The only difficulty we have there is getting her to come inside when it's time to go to bed, but I suppose that's something we should appreciate.

I'm thinking my next entry may "jump on the band wagon" and be a post about "Reasons Lyric is Crying" - just debating if I want to undertake such a thing or not.  Until then, Tiffany is coming over tomorrow and hopefully we will have an update on where we stand with preschool.  

Excitement and Irritation

A few days ago, we put Lyric in a t-shirt that had a local band on the front of it.  She looked at the name of the band, pointed to the letter T, and said "T!"  Then she said "Teeee tee tee tee tee tee" - which is what is said when you're moving the letter T in the app Endless Alphabet.  This has happened with multiple letters, on various occasions.  She loves to repeat after the letters when she is playing the app, too.  Things like this just reconfirm my choice of allowing her to use an iPad.  A lot of Sanctimommies scoff at the idea of allowing a child to do things like watch TV, use a computer, or use an iPad because "they just can't be educational."  Pretty sure that the way Lyric has been improving lately proves that this kind of statement is bullshit (pardon the language).  I'm not saying it's a cure all, or that it's a replacement for the valuable things that we do to work with her in speech therapy sessions, or in other ways - but it's definitely one more thing in the arsenal that is helping to foster her rapidly expanding skills.

Another positive of this week - Debby, the Occupational Therapist came over.  She has only seen Lyric one other time.  She brought a pressure vest with her for us to use, which I will address in a moment.  The positive that I want to touch on occurred when Travis, Debby, and Lyric were playing with a ball that we already own.  Lyric caught the ball every single time it was thrown at her.  Debby noticed this, and mentioned that she is a really good catch.  So Travis mentioned the fact that she can hit a baseball with a bat that is pitched to her.  Debby got a surprised look on her face and said "She's not supposed to be able to do that yet...." to which Travis responded "I know!"  We've always suspected that this particular skill was an advanced on, so it was nice to have confirmation.  Not only that, she's been able to do it since the middle of last year - so it's not something that is new for us.  Overall the visit with Debby went well.

The pressure vest looks like this: 

We're allowed to borrow it for a while to see if it helps calm her, or if it's something she will even tolerate.  According to the follow up sheet, we're supposed to use it for 10 - 20 minutes, 3 - 4 times a day.  We will see if we can keep up with that schedule, or if she will even tolerate using it that much. 

One last item of amusement before we get to the irritation is that Lyric has been picking up on Stephen Fry's accent in Pocoyo.  Despite the fact that we speak very American English, she insists on calling a ball a "bowl."  It's actually really adorable, but it also shows you just how easily young kids pick up on things.

On to the irritation.  I'm going to disclaim this by saying that I love Early On, and I love everything that they have done for us.  I like everyone that comes to help Lyric, and I have very few complaints in that respect.  However, they can be so disorganized sometimes.  I'm a pretty disorganized person, so I understand how it can happen - but when you're coming to someone's home to work with their child, disorganization is a little less forgivable.  For example, last time our speech therapist was here, she was wanting to come over this week but realized that we were getting a visit from both Debby and our coordinator, and didn't want to cram 3 into one week.  She said that she would get back to us about when she would come over.  I got an e-mail this morning that was sent last night about how she would be coming over at 11:30 today, but would have to leave early to do an IEP meeting.  I called her, because our coordinator also rescheduled to next week, to let her know we had no idea she was supposed to be coming over today.  She's going to get back to us about coming over next week.  We'll see if that happens.  It's not the first time the schedule has been confused like this.  I get that they handle a ton of kids and appointments, but it's kind of frustrating because I want her to be getting her help, and I feel really bad cancelling.  It's just difficult to keep everything straight sometimes, I suppose.

Our next visit is on the 16th.  Hopefully we get more information on transition then, because her 3rd birthday is coming up quite fast.