A PSA for New and Soon to Be New Moms

This isn't related to Lyric and her progress, which I will update about once Halloween is done and I can post pictures.  It is, however, directly related to her - and it's something I feel like I need to share.

I have a lot of friends who are either thinking about, or going to become moms for the first time very soon.  It's exciting for me, because I like having mom friends to talk with, and I like to help people the way that they helped us when we were expecting Lyric.  It's also a little scary, because becoming a parent is full of uncertainty and worry that can't be described.

Some of these friends are in a stage of pregnancy where they are feeling miserable.  Either they are sick, and tired all the time – or they are at a point where everything is uncomfortable, breathing seems impossible, and they can’t wait to evict their new addition.  Some post about it on Facebook, and inevitably people chime in with the same comments:

“It will all be worth it when you see your baby for the first time.”

Or

“You’ll be so in love when you first see your baby that all of this won’t matter!”

Or

“Sleepless nights won’t matter when you have your baby to snuggle.”

Maybe it was like that for these people, but it wasn’t like that for me.  I don’t talk about it much, because at this point it’s just a minor blip on the radar that is our life with Lyric, but when she was first born I didn’t feel any of what these people say.  I didn’t feel that immediate rush of love.  I didn’t feel that overwhelming special bond.  I just didn’t feel anything.  The best way I can describe it is that inner thought of “That’s it?”  I could take it or leave it.  I loved her, yes.  But I also felt like I was broken, because I didn’t feel that immediate overpowering sense of love that is apparently what occurs when you’re a mom.  I didn’t feel any of it during pregnancy, either.  I didn’t have that feeling of wonder about the life inside of me.  It was just another part of my day. 

Looking back now, I realize that it was likely some form of Post-Partum Depression.  And it really is true that people just don’t talk about it.  Having a baby is supposed to be this awesome, happy time, right?  So moms who don’t have that feeling are left wondering if maybe they weren’t meant to be a mother in the first place, if they’re not fitting in to the cookie cutter description of what a new mom is SUPPOSED to feel. 

Obviously now it’s very different.  I have that bond, and that feeling of being willing to die for that tiny ball of sassy person that Lyric has become.  But it took a while for that to develop.  So to all of the ladies out there who are going to be a mom for the first time – don’t worry if you don’t feel like everyone is telling you you’re going to feel when your child is born.  There is nothing wrong with it.  Much like it takes time to develop feelings for a significant other, sometimes it takes time to develop that relationship with your child.  And that’s okay.  You’re not broken.  Just human.

The Sickness and Other Things

This month has actually been pretty busy activity wise for all of us.  Travis has been running an open mic for a local pub, and he's played a few shows.  We went to Boo in the Zoo with my dad, step mom, step sister, and Lyric's cousins.  Lyric earned herself private dance lessons because she's still pretty much in her own world when we go there.  Then she got the flu, which threw everything off of it's rails. 

The dance lessons are a new development that I am beyond grateful for.  She just wasn't "getting" the routine in the group classes.  Since it's not a class where they are rehearsing for a recital, moving her lessons to a private setting made sense.  We no longer have to worry about all the other mom's standing at the window, watching and distracting her.  She doesn't have other kids that she can make her partner in crime.  It's just her and Miss Kailen for a half an hour before the time that her class used to be.  I think it's going to take some work still to get her to really be able to focus.  I think the secret is going to end up being figuring out a way to make it so that she is constantly moving, which satisfies her sensory needs, while still teaching her the fundamentals of dancing.  I'm not really sure how that can be accomplished, so I plan on looking some things up to see if maybe I can find something that might work.  I cringe every time I hear her name called when we are there, so I can only imagine the frustration for the actual teacher.  Hopefully we will be able to come up with some kind of collaborative solution.  Lyric gets so excited about going to dance, so I really want it to be a successful thing for her, SPD be damned.

We went to Boo in the Zoo at our local zoo last weekend, and it was a lot of fun.  A lot of walking, but also a lot of fun.  Lyric was excited about it all week and kept talking about "Grandpa and candy!  Grandpa and candy!"  We probably could have stayed at the otter exhibit the entire time, because all of the kids were absolutely enamored with them, but there was a lot to see.  She got to play with and pet goats.  She called the donkeys "Eeyore."  She was super excited to see the chickens for who knows what reason.  She got to ride a "choo choo," too, which is basically the one thing she looked forward to the whole time.  While we were there, we found she knew how to say tiger, goat, chicken, Eeyore, monkey, turtle, froggy, bird, rabbit, kitty, doggie, penguin, and ducky.  Some of those she has been able to say for a long time, but some are fairly new.  She also did the straw maze 3 times.  The first time she went the wrong way pretty much every chance there was, but when she found her way out she was so happy - and frustrated.  Because as soon as she left the maze the first time, she went right back into it at the entrance to take what she now knew was the right path.  By the end of the zoo you could tell she was exhausted.  She fell asleep on the car ride home, and took a nap as soon as we got in the door.

Then she woke up with a fever of 104.  I wasn't sure if it was a fluke or not, but I gave her some Motrin anyway.  That night she threw up twice during the night, and had an extremely high fever, so I knew it wasn't a fluke.  I wound up staying home from work on Monday because I had been up with her all night, and took her in to the doctor.  He diagnosed it as stomach flu, and warned that she would probably keep throwing up in one way or another, so I got some Powerade to have her drink to stay hydrated.  She literally spent Monday through Thursday in bed all day.  Around Wednesday we decided that she had the flu, not a stomach flu.  The symptoms were more consistently flu like than anything else.  As a result, she has missed the entire week of preschool this week.  I've been emailing with her teacher daily to keep her updated, and was told that the class misses her.  Apparently she is kind of the "princess" (I hate that word, but it kind of fits) of the class because she is the only girl.  As of today it seems like her fevers have subsided (finally) and she is getting back to normal.

It's been an interesting week because of the illness for Travis and I, because we are seeing more and more speech, conversation, and understanding from her.  For example, at one point when Travis put her in bed for one of her many naps, our cat Paintbrush happened to be under the blanket.  She looked at Travis and said "Kitty?"  He told her yes, and that if she was nice, the kitty might stay.  Her answer to that was "I know.  Paybus my fend."  Last night I was asking her what she wanted to eat for dinner, and at first she said pie.  We've only ever made a pie one time, and at the time she kept calling it a cake - so somewhere in the past 2 or 3 weeks, she has learned "pie."  After telling her we didn't have what we need to make pie, she asked for chicken.  Not only that, she knew where it was, and knew that the bag I pulled out of the freezer was actually chicken.  I put some in the microwave to defrost and she said "It's cooking," which is kind of a go to phrase for her now when she is waiting for her food to be done.  She wound up eating cheese for dinner instead of the chicken, which I decided not to cook after she had some cheese (I don't pretend to understand her food preferences).

It's just been really exciting the past few weeks to see the language explosion occurring.  Apparently she knows the names of our cats, which we had no idea she knew.  She's got more and more sentences coming out of her each day, too.  She still speaks a lot of babble that sounds like SHE thinks she is saying something, but just sounds like a jumble of words - but the progress she has made with answering questions and making requests is clear.  She even told the doctor what her name was when he asked her on Monday.  I had no idea she knew the answer to that question.  I'm hoping that since she has only been in preschool for a month and a half and is already this improved that it is a sign of lots of good things to come. 

Here are some pictures from the week:

 Poor Sandwich was worried all week about sick baby

 Passed out on me after going to the doctor

 Grandpa, Lyric, and Piper with the zoo Baboon

 Sleepy Arctic Fox

Otters!

 I have no idea, haha

Sleepy Amur Tiger

Piper, Lyric, and Allen at the zoo

Last picture of the day.  You can tell she's tired.

New Words and Things

Nothing is going on that is really worth writing paragraphs about, so I thought I would update with a list of new things instead. 

Here are the new words, phrases, and skills that we have come to find out Lyric knows in the past few weeks:

"Dinosaur!"
"Pirate!"
"Christmas"
"Candy"
"Trick or treat" (sounding less like 'Poo poo pee' every day)
"I can't reach it!"
"Help, please!"
"You're welcome"
"Cookie"
"Push the button"
"Why they go?" (referring to the kitties, who run away every time she comes into the room)
"I don't know"
"Cow"
"Kitty" (they are no longer diddehs)
"Doggy"
"A bird!"
"Ducky"
"There it is!"
"Basket"
"Baby"
"Peanut butter"
"Bread"
"Where are you?"
"Where are you going?"
"Perry the Platypus"
"Isabella"
"Baljeet"
"I did it"
"Need to potty"
"Popcorn"
"Clothes"
"Car"
"Wash your hands"
"Brush your teeth"
"Flush"
She sings her ABCs (sort of) and Happy Birthday and the Clean Up song
She asks for Snoopy, Odie, Pocoyo, and Hopla by name.
She counts from 1 to 20 correctly, and can point out some colors.
She sorts things according to color and shape. 
She can buckles herself into her car seat. 
She helps with cooking and can pour pancake batter onto the griddle, mix and serve her own mac and cheese, and spread peanut butter on bread.
She helps with cleaning and likes to sweep, mop, and put clothes down the laundry chute.

She had her first school picture day last week, and I am dying to know how the pictures came out.  Hopefully we get them before the month is over.  Travis picked out a super cute outfit for her, and she loves to mug for the camera, so fingers crossed!  Dance class is going reasonably well.  We did have one hiccup the week before last.  We left early because Lyric was just having a "Lyric Day" and wouldn't focus or pay attention.  It seemed to be a little better this week, except for the part where she enlisted a partner in crime in her activities.  I'm hoping her attention span improves, but wondering if dance might be a liiiiitttle too quiet for her liking.  We will see as the weeks go on.  In the mean time, here are some photos just because.

 We made leaf trees together when Travis was gone last weekend

 Waiting for the bus!

 Dance class :)

The outfit Travis chose for picture day