"She's just a confident child." "She just has a high pain tolerance." "She's just being a brat." "It's a phase, she'll get over it." "Be careful - everyone wants to label everything these days." "There's nothing wrong with her!"
All of these are phrases that have been said at one point or another when the discussion of Lyric's evaluations have come up with family. It's difficult to explain what is going on, because like us as parents, they just want to see Lyric become an intelligent, thriving individual. Unfortunately, these are all phrases that should be added to a list of what NOT to say to a parent who is in the process of getting their child Early Intervention.
It took two evaluations, but we finally learned that the "Lyric Quirks" that we so often noticed were what are known as Sensory Seeking behaviors. Sensory Seeking is a form of Sensory Processing Disorder, or SPD. The best description that I have found is that people who are sensory seekers have to experience everything with a great intensity. It's like when you go on a culinary vacation. You don't want to just eat burgers and fries when you're in Japan - you want to experience the intensity that their cuisine has to offer. Sensory Seekers need to do this with every aspect of their life on a daily basis.
These are the Sensory Seeking behaviors that Lyric exhibits regularly:
- Chews on inedible objects - EVERYTHING still goes in her mouth at least once, and she has recently started chewing her hair.
- Seeks visually stimulating screens - She constantly wants something playing on TV even if she's not watching it.
- Loves spinning in circles - She can spin for 15 minutes and not get tired of it.
- Seeks out deep pressure touch - Bear hugs, tight squeezing - she'll climb on the part of the recliner your legs go on and put your legs on her body to create the deep pressure she wants.
- Feels little to no pain - She once burned her finger on a stove. It blistered. She didn't even squeak.
- Takes bold risks - She's always climbing on the highest slides at the park, she will frequently climb onto the top of furniture and free fall off of it.
- Chews on toothbrush - All day, if you would let her.
- Dumps out bins and bags of toys just to look at everything in them - Our living room is a constant warzone. DVDs get yanked off shelves, card games get strewn all over, bins get dumped, etc. it drives us particularly insane when we are clearing up the floor, and she takes everything we've just put up and throws it back onto the floor.
- Plays with food/Messy eater/Overstuffs mouth - Mealtime can either be a battle or just fine, depending on what food she is eating. Applesauce frequently becomes hair gel.
- Excessive sensory play - If we would let her, she would fiddle with shaving cream, or play in water all day and never get bored.
- Loves being barefoot - The only time she likes shoes is if she knows we're going somewhere
- Loud noises - She will crank the volume up on her radio in her room all the way if you let her.
- Can't monitor her own volume - She has frequently been mistaken for a pterodactyl.
She also used to grind her teeth A LOT, but that has tapered off quite a bit in favor of other activities.
Looking at this list, you might think that these are just the typical behaviors of a rambunctious toddler. This is far from the case. Sure, climbing on things is something kids do. So is putting things in their mouths. Eventually, a typical child will get bored of it, or realize they get nothing out of it. A Sensory Seeking child will continue these behaviors well beyond when they were "supposed" to stop them. A typical child would cry if the knocked their head on the floor so hard it left a bruised knot - Lyric never does. This alone presents a great deal of concern for us as parents, because we have no real way of knowing if she is seriously hurt. Lyric used to not exhibit fear over anything. It was an extremely exciting day for us when we realized that she was whining for us to turn a movie off because she was afraid of a character in it. These are the types of things that parents of sensory seekers celebrate. The small victories that would seem so normal to an outsider.
An outsider would also be prone to judging a parent if they're allowing their toddler to put their mouths on objects that aren't food. They would probably not think twice about the screaming toddler in the mall just being another kid that parents don't have control over. I've gotten more than one sidelong glance from other parents in restaurants for letting Lyric fry paint with ketchup. I've second guessed on more than one occasion if I should be letting her climb to the tallest slides in the park by herself.
It's not that we're bad parents. It's not that she lacks discipline. It's just her trying to fulfill a need that her mind and body has, for whatever reason. The same as we need food or sleep to function, she needs to experience things in this way to feel comfortable with life so that she can continue to grow and learn. Sensory Seeking is not an end all diagnosis. We have yet to discuss what her occupational therapy for it is going to entail, and likely won't before the holidays. The key to all of this is that we all have to learn how to tailor Lyric's world to satisfy her sensory needs, while still allowing her to be independent and function well. It's likely to be a long, uphill climb - but I personally think that the top of the mountain is where all the best views are.
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